Why you should always have coffee FIRST

It really frightens me when the day has already been eventful enough to write about.  It has been one of those mornings for sure.

I was about to run out of the door with my three children to get my oldest to school when he says "Ugh I have sand in my shoe" (from the park yesterday)
"OK just go ahead and dump it in-"
*sound of sand pouring out*
"What are you doing??"
"Dumping the sand in there"
"In the FLOOR VENT??"
"Yeah"
"WHY??"
"No one said I couldn't"
"I don't tell you on a daily basis you cant jump off a cliff but you know better than that right?"
"Well yeah, THAT I know"

In his defense we do live in a mansion where the trash can is an astounding 10 feet away from the scene of the crime.
Yeah awesome, maybe next time I have to turn on the heater I will close all the other vents and open his so all that sand goes flying into his room, then he might understand why he "cant" do that again.

OK fine whatever, into the car we go.

Driving down the street and a full size white Toyota Tundra 4X4 covered in a "graphix" company decal keeps drifting into my lane, enough to almost hit me twice.  Drunk driver, I wonder?  I finally get enough room to get ahead of her, and take the opportunity.  As I am passing her I see that a brunette woman has both hand OFF of the steering wheel so she can text or play on her phone or whatever.  She never looked up, and shortly after I saw her she proceeded to blow through an intersection on a red light (no accident thankfully).

Look I understand texting and driving or playing on your phone and driving, I really do.  I understand that there isn't an option on these so called "phones" to actually call people anymore, and that technology hasn't advanced enough to where you can talk to people through your speakers in your car.  I understand that if you don't update your Facebook status right away people wont think you are relevant anymore.  Most importantly I know that no one person is more important than sending out that text or updating your Facebook.  Just remember that when you end up killing someone, they don't have the internet in prison.  So if you don't care that you can kill someone with your car, just remember NO INTERNET *GASP* yeah I have your attention now huh?

Finally we make it back home, alive thankfully. 
Time to take the dog out
We walk to the "potty patch" and Rocko does his business that I promptly pick up and throw away.  While walking back to the house from the potty patch, Rocko decides he is not done.  To the side of the street he hunches over and pops out the tiniest piece of poop I have ever seen.  "Seriously?" I asked him.  I realize I am out of bags and start walking back to the potty patch to get a bag to pick up after him. 
I see a guy throw his truck in reverse as I start to walk TOWARDS the potty patch
"Ummm excuuuuuuse meee! Are you going to pick that up?"
No asshole, I'm not going to pick it up with my bare hands, although the thought did cross my mind to pick up this little piece of poop and throw it into his open window.
"Can I get a fucking bag first? Mind your own business!"
He drove away.
I'm going to find out where he lives and put a full bag of poop under his tire one day so that he will back up and not only will it be stuck all over his tire, but it will also explode onto his driveway.

"Geez Brittany, calm down!" you are thinking, I can hear you.

Just keep in mind that this all happened BEFORE I had my first cup of coffee. Yeah makes sense now doesn't it?

The Dog Collar

I don't care who you are, if you are in a relationship you have fights.  If you say you don't, you're lying, and if you REALLY don't well then you're just a freak.  I'm not one to ever really air my "dirty laundry" but in this case it was far too relateable not to share.

We recently moved from one unit to another.  It was stressful trying to pack and move with 3 kids, work, and a time limit even though we literally moved about 100 feet.  We did everything in such a hurry that things were thrown in boxes, not labeled and put wherever they would fit in the new place.  That was 2 months ago.

Lately I have found myself looking for things, like lots of things, and can't find them anywhere.  My husband and I organize VERY differently.  My organization may look messy to others but I know where all of my stuff is.  My husband on the other hand can't stand clutter, and therefore we clash when it comes to the way we organize the house.  About a week ago I noticed ALL of my hoodies were missing.  My husband said they were probably in the storage shed outside and he would look the next day.  A week went by, still no hoodies.  Then last night I needed our new dog collar (that I bought before we moved) and asked him where it was, same answer probably outside in the shed.  For whatever reason this set off an argument (which I started).  I asked when exactly he was going to go out there and start getting our stuff out.  OK I know what you're thinking, why don't I just go out to the damn shed and get it myself?  Funny you ask that because my husband asked the same thing.  The reason?  I don't do bugs, more like spiders.  I'm insanely afraid of them, and swear no matter what there is constantly one lurking just waiting for me.

This somehow turned into you don't do this, and you don't do that, why don't you do this, and why don't you do that.  Remember this started because of a dog collar.  Then as with most arguments we got off the subject and started fighting about things that happened last week, and up to months ago.  Both trying to one up each other the argument just got worse and worse.  Now he changed his mind and insisted it was in the house and I told him no way I already looked, it had to be out there.  Finally after saying for the 10th time that he said he was going to get my hoodies out of the shed for over a week now, he goes to the shed.  While he's out there I started honestly trying to remember what we were fighting about.  I couldn't.  He came back in the house empty handed (I'm not sure he was looking but just humoring me), then he started looking in cabinets.  I asked what he was doing, he said looking for the stupid collar.  Then it hit me, the stupid collar, that's how this started?  A fucking dog collar?  A $7 dog collar?  Wow.

We were both under an insane amount of stress, I had been tired from working graveyard the night before, and he has been working 16 hours a day 6 days a week for a month and a half, oh and our oldest was suffering from a stomach bug.  I think we both realized how stupid it all was.  We were fighting at that point just to fight.  Just to get the stress of life out.  Its healthy in a non healthy sort of way.  Why an argument over a dog collar got as big as it did doesn't matter, it shouldn't have happened, and it sure shouldn't have happened at midnight.  He apologized, I apologized we went to bed.

In the morning the question still lingered.  Where was that stupid collar?  I asked our oldest son if he had seen it.  Nope he said, then "Oh its in the bag in the sun room, Daddy put it there when he was clearing out the sun room. 

Yes that paper bag right there.  It was in there the entire time.  So who was right?  Was it inside or outside?  I guess it doesn't matter, but of course I like to say TECHNICALLY it was outside.  I sent this to him after I found it.

After we have a fight we like to make fun of it, it nice that we can both laugh and joke about the situation.  Humor and the ability to realize when we are wrong is what has kept us together as long as it has.  If you want to stay happy you have to be able to take a joke and laugh at yourself. 

Moral of the story?  Fighting is inevitable in a relationship, but try to stay on the subject (even if its a $7 collar).  Oh and always check the sun room.

Now seriously where are my hoodies