Sunday, June 7, 2015

One Thing I Hate About Having A Daughter

Being a woman is one of the hardest things in the world. I could list a million different reasons why, but what I find is THE hardest is our image. I don't mean the way we come across, I mean flat out the way we look. What color our hair is, how smooth our legs are, what size breasts we have, our shoe size, and of course the most important to everyone....our weight.

I'll never forget the actual day I started worrying about my weight.  I may have told this story before but it's important.  I was 15 and a sophomore in high school. The guy I was dating at the time called and said he wanted to stop by and say hi real quick. Being 15, nothing made me happier than that. He pulled up in the driveway and I hopped in the passenger seat, he gave me a quick peck and then sat back in his seat. Out of nowhere he said (as he poked me in the stomach) "wow, you're putting on a little weight huh? Might need to do something about that." Now I have to say, I was notorious for dating some real douches in high school (yes mom you were right, AGAIN) but I had never really been worried or concerned with my weight until then. I was mortified and humiliated and remember going in the house and immediately getting on the scale. To clarify I was a size 5, an apparently humongous, gross, size 5. I have had a problem with my self esteem and image ever since then. All because ONE insignificant comment was made by ONE person 14 years ago. Something so small stuck with me and has managed to influence the way I see myself. This is terrifying now that I have a daughter.  

When I found out I was having the girl I wanted so badly I was elated. There was nothing that was more exciting to me. I imagined the dressing up, the barbies, the baby dolls, doing her hair and all the fun stuff. What managed to elude my mind was what she will inevitably deal with as she grows. The pressure to be a girl. To wear the right clothes, do her hair the right way, and yes even be the "right" weight. What worries me even more is that no matter how much I tell her she is beautiful, perfect, smart, and amazing she will still most likely at some point see herself the way others let her, I know because my mom tried to tell me the same things. I am 29 and I STILL have image issues, the same ones that started from that asshole in high school. I don't ever want my daughter to feel any less beautiful because of a number on a scale or on a pair of pants. 

The media, Hollywood, actors, singers models you name it always complain about the pressures of the "business", but who gives into the "business"?  They do. When are the ones that reluctantly influence our young girls the most going to take a stand on what beauty really is?  I am going to do every single thing in my power to make sure my daughter knows that no matter what, she is the most beautiful person in the world, but as long as there are teenage boys, magazines, and whatever else telling her what "beauty" is my uplifting words just might get lost, but I refuse to accept that. I refuse to let anyone influence the way she sees herself. My daughter will always know that beauty is on the inside, and only her opinion matters. I hope someday that is a trend that catches on. The big smile she wears everyday, is the same one I want to continue to see for the rest of my life. Love yourself, be yourself, and don't let anyone change the way you feel about yourself in a negative way. We are all beautiful

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

You Go Girl

Yesterday we all said goodbye to Bruce Jenner and were introduced to Caitlyn Jenner.  The first photo released was no doubt a shocker, I highly doubt it was what anyone expected, but that's the way she wanted it.  She busted out and said this is who I am, this is ME, get it all out now, oooo and ahhhh, snicker and sneer put your imagination to rest.  From the one picture you see a person that is truly happy in their own skin for probably the first time.  You see a person that has waited 65 years for their body to match their brain.  How can anyone be offended by that?  How can anyone have a problem with that?

It seems that most of the comments and reactions have been positive, but there are those that have a serious problem with it.  Yes, because the way someone chooses to live their life now affects the way those people live theirs.  Give me a break.  If Caitlyn Jenner has a direct affect on your kids, your marriage, or you then you have a problem.  Its fine to disagree with what she decides to do, its always fine to have your own opinion, you are entitled, BUT to call her a "monster" "disgusting" or "sickening" just means you are being a bully.  You know who is all those things?  Child molesters (looking at you Josh Duggar), rapists, murderers, child abusers, domestic abusers, etc.  Does Caitlyn belong with those people? Absolutely not.  What is she doing to you exactly?  Is she committing a crime? Is she making your children want to change genders? Are you afraid that if someone you know sees the magazine cover they are going to want to transition? These disgusting comments about someone they don't even know just shows how unaccepting we are as people.  Its time to wake up people.  Its 2015, if you have a problem with transgender, gay marriage, and whatever else then maybe you should go off the grid so you don't have to share your "perfect" world with "them".  The world would be a better place if we would just be HAPPY for one another.  There have been many times in my life that I didn't agree with what was going on around me, but you know what? They are HAPPY.  Who are you to decide what is OK to make people happy?  How would you feel if someone came up to you and started making negative comments on how you looked in public?  What if someone that didn't know you just came up and told you that you looked like a monster or a freak?  Or if someone sent you an anonymous tweet or message?  The first thing that would come to your mind is, who the hell does this person think they are to tell me how I should look?  What if someone came up that you didn't know and said your child was ugly?  Its unacceptable to tell ANYONE how they should present themselves.

We should accept and embrace our differences and be free to live our lives in America without being nasty to each other.  What she did is incredibly inspiring and courageous.  There is no doubt in my mind that by going through all of this so publicly she has shown some out there not to be ashamed of the way they feel.  That it is OK to be you.  Not to care what others think and be true to yourself.  I commend her and I hope the public can start being more accepting to those that decide to live their lives against what some people may call the "norm"