RIP "Weekends"

Every Friday night I think to myself "Ooo I think I'll stay up late and catch up on my DVR", because the kids are going to sleep in tomorrow.  Every single weekend I am proven wrong.  My children are the type that must wake up as soon as there is any sort of daylight, and its not like the sun is beating into their rooms (each of them have blackout curtains) but they seem to have some kind of sensor that alerts them.  I really wish I knew how to turn that switch off.

It wouldn't be so bad if they calmly came in my room and said something like "good morning best mommy in the world its time to get up!" No that's not it.  Its more like me being jolted awake by either jumping on my bed, the boys fighting, doors slamming, Brody saying "GET UP IT'S DAY" or "GET UP I'M HUNGRY" awwww such sweet kids.  Then there is Elle over the monitor "MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY" followed by a scream only a banshee could replicate. 

It's hard enough getting used to a new school year, and getting into a routine during the week.  How do they not want to just enjoy the lack of responsibility on weekends like I do?  And whyyyyy do they seem to get up earlier on weekends than weekdays?  Its a very twisted system I tell you.  So as I sit here on a Saturday morning, clinging to my coffee and regretting catching up on shows until 1am I am plotting my revenge.  My sweet sweet revenge.

I remember being a teenager and sleeping in until well past noon.  My mother would be disgusted and break open my blinds and start singing....very loud, until I was so annoyed I had no choice but to get up.  Since I became a mother I have realized that that was probably her revenge on me for ruining her sleep all those years, and now, I accept that.  My revenge will be slightly more subtle just for fun and to get the point loud and clear.  I have decided to alternate the following events when they are teenagers and cherish sleep until I am satisfied

• Wake them up every 2-3 hours yelling I'm hungry, or that I have gas
• Jump on THEIR bed screaming "ITS DAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!"
• Steal a chapter from my moms book and bust in their room singing LOUD (for the record my kids HATE when I sing, and I have no idea why as my voice is like an angel)
• Slam each and every door in the house as hard as I can
• Go in their room and gently wake them up with a megaphone
• Yell and scream that my husband is touching my stuff and wont share
• 3 words...pots and pans

I could literally go on and on, if you have any ideas feel free to share!

I know one day I am going to miss their sweet little faces waking me up in such horrible ways, but as you can tell today is not one of those days.  RIP weekends you will forever be missed

The Dexter Finale...

Last night was the finale of Dexter, one of my most beloved shows.  Its one of the few that I never missed an episode of and got butterflies every time I was getting ready to watch it.  In my opinion it was one of the best written shows out there.  Don't get me wrong there have been a few times over the last 8 years (ok the last 4) where I was like "huh?" and "wtf?" but that is pretty much a given with any show.  Last night however will go down as one of my favorite episodes (next to the finale in Season 4)

As with any finale, I have seen a lot of mixed reactions but I thought it was beautifully done.  I am getting ready to talk about it now so if you haven't seen it yet STOP READING NOW!!!

I wont go into the entire episode but here are a few things that I took from it:

• Dexter learned NEVER to leave a kill on the table (Trinity anyone??)
• I think Hannah will surprisingly take good care of Harrison (even though I wasn't a fan)
• Dexter WAS capable of love but only for two people, Harrison and Deb
• Killing Deb was actually incredibly touching and one of the few times we saw Dexter show emotion
• The acting was great, most notably by Dexter (Michael C. Hall), Deb (Jennifer Carpenter), and Quinn (Desmond Harrington)
• Dexter will never have a happy ending

In the final scene we see Dexter now working as a logger (after faking his own death) in the mountains.  The mountains to me were no doubt a tribute to his late sister Deb who had said, in her last conversation with Dexter, that she wanted to go hiking.   He lives alone in a tiny place and seems to be at peace with that.  The question of course that is out there is even though he started over is he still "Dexter"?  The final shot of him looking into the camera gives me the impression that he is indeed still "Dexter" at night, although I'm not entirely sure if he follows The Code anymore especially since Harry was nowhere to be seen, after he basically said goodbye to him 2 weeks ago.

Like I said before I just thought it was so well done.  No matter how hard he tried over 8 years he finally realized he will never be able to have a "normal" life and secluded himself to keep others from getting hurt.  We know Dexter has feelings, which was something he was told he was incapable of.

So good job writers and cast.  It was a great 8 seasons and I for one will miss the show greatly. 

Gamers Paradise

Last night at midnight Grand Theft Auto 5 finally came out.  Yes I'm 28, yes I have kids, and yes I have a guilty pleasure in the form of GTA games.  I would not classify myself as a "gamer" but if time allows I don't mind getting lost in a video game for a few hours.

I debated all day whether or not I was going to brave the line at midnight, but eventually decided why not, I'm always up that late anyway!  I decided to leave around 11:20 to, you know, "beat the crowd".  When I pulled up people were literally tailgating, others had been camping out for hours out front.  I felt like a huge loser, there I was at midnight, all alone, going to pick up a damn video game.  I tried to find a solid line to stand in but everyone was so scattered I figured I was missing something.  I asked a guy sitting in his chair at the front door if this was the line, he pointed to a few people behind him, not saying a word to me.  OK then, so I walked a little farther and saw the end of what I thought was the line.  I asked the guy sitting there "is this the end of the line?" He said "Kind of you need to get checked in first".  Great I just wasted 10 minutes trying to find a line only to find out I had to go inside first and check in.  I checked in and went back outside. 

I know a lot of people like to "people watch" at places like Walmart, but if you want to be entertained you just need to go to a midnight release of a video game.  I was pretty much the only girl there with the exception of about 2 or 3 others, one of which was standing next to me telling her boyfriend about getting so drunk last weekend that she had a full on conversation with herself to convince her she didn't need to throw up.  I didn't want to be that weirdo that just stands there pretending to do something on their phone while they listen to other peoples conversations but I totally was.  At least I WAS until the guy in the red shirt showed up.

The guy in the red shirt *sigh* he couldn't have been more of a stereotype if he tried.  He showed up with his laptop and parked his butt to my right side and started watching Breaking Bad.  About 10 minutes before midnight he put the computer down and just started talking, and talking, and talking.  Not only that but he was one of those people who is extremely loud in hopes that everyone will laugh at everything he is saying.  Here are a few of his quotes

"Cats are stupid, I mean I had a cat, and I loved him but he was a dumb asshole"
"My dog is so dumb, I'm not saying I would but, I could literally kick her 5 times in the stomach, leave for 5 minutes and when I came back she would be so excited to see me"
"People always say "You're such a dick, you must be from the East Coast" I say yes I am but I would rather be called a dick to my face than have people be nice to me to my face then talk shit behind my back.  That's the definition of CA everyone is fake" (ummm he does know everyone standing in that line LIVES in ca right??)
"I traded in my sports car for that Subaru station wagon right there, I would rather drive smart than fast"
 Those are just a few.  He also referenced a girlfriend about a dozen times that to be honest, I'm not even sure exists. And if I had to guess I would say that Subaru station wagon he was driving was his moms.

In addition to the very annoying attention seeking guy there were other things going on like, two guys who kept circling the parking lot blasting their subs hoping to look cool (is it still cool to "bump" music like that?), another guy who had a boat horn installed on his truck that scared the crap out of all of us as he drove by and had his buddy record our reactions, grown men talking about Pokemon and Skylanders and being excited about it, people fighting over trivia answers, and so on.  When people finally started walking out with the game the men were cheering, jumping up and down, screaming "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH", and a few were *I swear* on the brink of tears.

Like I said, it was quite entertaining and cant imagine how creepy I looked chuckling to myself every now and then at some of the conversations I was overhearing.  I was probably the weirdest one there to them, all alone laughing to myself. 

In the end I got my game, came home and went to bed, but it was totally worth it

*sigh* 9/11

This day is never easy for most Americans.  It is a day that is somber, quiet, and reflective as it totally should be.  I'm sitting writing this while my kids sit and watch Yo Gabba Gabba.  It's a very cloudy gray day outside, and I think the weather reflects the mood most people are in today.  When I look at my kids I often think about what kind of tragedies they will witness.  As much as we would all like to think something as horrible as 9/11 wouldn't happen again, it is inevitable that SOMEDAY something will happen because Al Qaeda is a bunch of crazy bastards.

I have always had a lot of guilt when it comes to 9/11.  I was almost 16 years old and my parents decided to take me on a Disney Cruise. I was less than thrilled.  The first few days of the cruise were ok, although I would have much rather been with my friends instead of Mickey Mouse coming up to me everyday and giving me a big hug (For the record I would be so excited for that to happen now, but I was 16 remember?).  On the morning of 9/11 we docked at Castaway Cay, Disneys private island.  I was in an especially bad mood and refused to enjoy the beautiful water and white beaches.  All of a sudden a downpour came forcing everyone on the beach to huddle together under straw-like huts.  Whether you like the people you were next to or not you were huddled with them.

After the storm passed I was really pissed off, I had had it with this trip, I wanted to go home and didn't want to be on this stupid trip anymore.  I stomped off leaving my family on the beach and headed back to the ship.  While walking back to the room I started hearing screaming, crying, "oh-nos" "oh my gods" and so on.  When I got into the room I turned on the tv and saw a tower on fire.  It was a close-up shot of the tower and underneath it the caption read "world trade center on fire"....I had no idea what the world trade center was, OR that it was in NY.  Sure I had seen the towers a million times in the opening credits of "Friends" but I failed to put two and two together and turned the TV off and took a nap.

My parents and sister came back to the ship not long after I started to nap and my mom said "Whats going on in NY?"  I said "NY? I don't know about NY but there is some tower on fire" She instantly turned on the TV and by this time the second tower was fully engulfed as well.  The first words out of her mouth when she saw both of the towers on fire was "He finally did it" I said "Who? Whats going on?" She said "Bin Laden, he finally did it, he tried years ago to bring those down" I don't really remember the rest of it, I don't remember watching the towers fall, the people running for their lives, the aftermath or anything.  I don't know if my mom shut off the TV on purpose or if we did watch and I just wasn't very invested in it.  The next thing I remember is being told that the cruise was going to be cut short, we were going back to FL (apparently they were afraid we could be some kind of target sitting in the middle of the ocean).

We were due to fly home the 12th, I was excited to go home but not so excited to fly right after all of this.  Of course we were told that ALL flights were grounded and we wouldn't be going anywhere.  I begged my parents for us to rent a car and drive home.  I did NOT want to fly home.  They wouldn't budge.  It took DAYS for us to finally get a flight home, and when we did I witnessed first hand how on edge we were in airports.  We got through security, and sat at our gate.  I looked across a few rows and spotted a man wearing a turban with a large beard.  I am not ashamed to say that at the time I was scared shitless.  If you were about to get on a plane that close after 9/11 and saw a man with a turban on you would feel the same way, call me a racist if you want, but if you're saying you wouldn't feel the same way you're lying.  Also, I was NOT the only one staring at him.  EVERYONE was looking at him, whispering, and looked visibly shaken.  After about 20 minutes of us sitting there all worried about the guy in the turban, 2 guys in suits came up grabbed him by the arms and took him away.  Honestly do I think he was a terrorist now that I look back on it? No, I think we were just all on edge and while it wasn't right to judge that man, it was kind of understandable. 

I have flown a total of 2 times (round trip) since that day and my mother, against my wishes and begging, is now a flight attendant.  I haven't been able to get past the fear of flying and am not really sure if I ever will.

Since my behavior regarding 9/11 when it was happening was horrendous, I dedicate my entire day every 9/11 to watch specials, educate my children, and pay my respects the way I SHOULD have 12 years ago.  I feel guilty that the country was in complete chaos, thousands of people died, people were literally running for their lives and there I was sitting pouting that I wanted to go home because I was 16 and I was the center of the universe.  I hope my children never have to witness anything of that magnitude in their lifetime, but the threat is always there.  I hope that by investing myself all day every 9/11 I am paying respects to those who lost their lives and loved ones.  I truly do feel guilty but I hope I have redeemed myself somewhat.  One of the things on my bucket list is to see the 9/11 memorial in NY, and if I ever have to opportunity to go I may even fly there.

It's time to grow up

Tyra Banks put on a bunch of white make-up to give herself "whiteface" to "honor" her fellow white models.  In her situation it is artistic and thoughtful, if a white model put on dark colored make-up, to perhaps do the same thing, it would no doubt be racist.  So why is Tyra not in the wrong?  Simple it's called a double standard and it's ridiculous.

Now am I offended or pissed off she was sporting "whiteface"? Of course not because it's just stupid to get offended over something so absolutely ridiculous and I have better things to worry about.  To be honest I don't see what's wrong with wearing dark colored make-up for say Halloween if you want to be someone specific. How is that offensive? Or at least how is it any more offensive than painting your face white to be a ghost? Why do all ghosts have to be white?? See how stupid that sounds? Say I wanted to be umm I don't know lets say Michelle Obama, just for this blog, would it be ok for me to sport dark make-up on my face? Probably not, I mean I'm sure SOME people would think it was ok but I certainly wouldn't trick or treat in Al Sharptons neighborhood. 

I have a lot of issues with racism and do not feel it is as present as it was years and years ago. Does it still exist? Of course, but last I checked we are all using the same bathrooms, have the same jobs, and go to the same schools. 

In my honest opinion the moment Obama was elected should have shown how far this country has come in regards to racism not once but TWICE now. If every single white person, cop, southerner, lawyer, judge, etc was so racist he wouldn't have been elected TWICE.  It's time to move on and it's time to stop throwing the race card out every single time something happens. 

If I were seriously sitting here complaining about how offended I was by Tyra Banks I would have so many people telling me to shut up I would lose count.  If other races want "equality" then they need to stop playing victim all the time. Murders, robberies, rapes, sex offenders, speeding tickets, DUIs, drug busts, domestic violence, and whatever else you can think of happens to ALL RACES and it is ALL RACES that do them. We need to stop referring to ourselves as white, black, Asian, mexican whatever and start referring to ourselves as PEOPLE, because that's what we are PEOPLE.  

Remember after 9/11? Katrina, Sandy, the Boston Marathon? Remember how united we were as PEOPLE? Why does it always take a horrible tragedy to bring our nation together and the best out in people?  If we concentrated more on how to get along than to ridicule and pick apart every single decision every person makes we would be much happier and united. I hope that happens someday for our sake, our children's, and even our grandchildren's. 

So Tyra you have my blessing, I'm not offended and neither should anyone else be. It's time to grow up people 

First morning of school

I'm not sure what it is about the first day of school that brings the absolute worst in people, but it never ceases to amaze me every single year.

Look ladies (mostly) we All need a parking space, we ALL need to find our kids class, we ALL need to maneuver through the other clueless parents and children, and we ALL haven't had nearly enough coffee yet.

Its one of those things that most of us parents don't want to be there, the first day is always chaos but it would be nicer if everyone realized that and was just nice and helpful. Everyone is just flat out rude on the first day, they and their children are way more important than you DUH! I was cut off multiple times, had two parking spots stolen from me, people flat out REFUSED to let myself and my three children (one of which was in a stroller) cross the street, I was stepped on, and Brody was even pushed a few times.

We were having trouble finding the line for Braden to line up.   I walked through the lines about 3 times reading ever paper looking for his teachers name, couldn't find it.  As I am weaving in and out of kids and parents looking for this teachers name I realize Braden is GONE.  He was happily running around with a friend from last year like we had nothing better to do.  Now I'm not the kind of mother that wakes up 4 hours early to do my hair and make-up to drop my kid off at school.  I'm a throw-my-hair-up-in-a-bun-big sunglasses-sweats-while-clutching-my-coffee kind of girl.  But today being the first day of school I put on jeans, yes JEANS, since it was a special occasion I got dressy (Kidding).  Being in the OC this is almost a no no.  Most of these women hire a personal make-up/hair/stylist as part of their daily routine, I swear.  I got dirty looks if I asked for help (or eye rolling..totally my favorite) like I was some kind of idiot, maybe it was because I looked like a ragged crazy woman, even borderline homeless at this point.  Not only did I look crazy but now I was "that mother" clutching her three year old, pushing a stroller and yelling at my oldest to "get back here" "I'm serious" "get over here" "we don't have time for that right now" "I SAID GET OVER HERE" "STOP RUNNING OFF" add about 12 exclamation points after every phrase and say it increasingly louder with more agitation as you go on.  Finally after I was sweating my ass off, stressed out, and on the verge of screaming "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HELP MEEEEEEE????" I found another parent who also couldn't find the stupid class line.  We searched and searched and along the way found 2 other parents also all looking for the same class.  We found it, it was posted on a CHAIR in the middle of tons of screaming running children.  GREAT place for it. 

Braden got in his line and waited to enter his classroom while I tried to compose myself, then OF COURSE I run into my neighbor.  I must have been looking awesome because she literally had to do a double take when she saw me.  Knowing I was stressed and sweating the first thing I said was "wow its hot today huh?" Oh yeah Brittany nice one its a scorching 76 today. She said "yeah sure is"with that "back away slowly" look in her eye, like I was a rabid animal.  In her defense she was probably pretty close.  We talked a little more, found out our kids are in the same class, and then went on our way. 

Sooooo I guess you could say the first morning was a major success.....cant wait for the first after school pick-up of the year yaaaaaaaaaay