Saturday, September 28, 2013

RIP "Weekends"

Every Friday night I think to myself "Ooo I think I'll stay up late and catch up on my DVR", because the kids are going to sleep in tomorrow.  Every single weekend I am proven wrong.  My children are the type that must wake up as soon as there is any sort of daylight, and its not like the sun is beating into their rooms (each of them have blackout curtains) but they seem to have some kind of sensor that alerts them.  I really wish I knew how to turn that switch off.

It wouldn't be so bad if they calmly came in my room and said something like "good morning best mommy in the world its time to get up!" No that's not it.  Its more like me being jolted awake by either jumping on my bed, the boys fighting, doors slamming, Brody saying "GET UP IT'S DAY" or "GET UP I'M HUNGRY" awwww such sweet kids.  Then there is Elle over the monitor "MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY" followed by a scream only a banshee could replicate. 

It's hard enough getting used to a new school year, and getting into a routine during the week.  How do they not want to just enjoy the lack of responsibility on weekends like I do?  And whyyyyy do they seem to get up earlier on weekends than weekdays?  Its a very twisted system I tell you.  So as I sit here on a Saturday morning, clinging to my coffee and regretting catching up on shows until 1am I am plotting my revenge.  My sweet sweet revenge.

I remember being a teenager and sleeping in until well past noon.  My mother would be disgusted and break open my blinds and start singing....very loud, until I was so annoyed I had no choice but to get up.  Since I became a mother I have realized that that was probably her revenge on me for ruining her sleep all those years, and now, I accept that.  My revenge will be slightly more subtle just for fun and to get the point loud and clear.  I have decided to alternate the following events when they are teenagers and cherish sleep until I am satisfied

  • Wake them up every 2-3 hours yelling I'm hungry, or that I have gas
  • Jump on THEIR bed screaming "ITS DAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!"
  • Steal a chapter from my moms book and bust in their room singing LOUD (for the record my kids HATE when I sing, and I have no idea why as my voice is like an angel)
  • Slam each and every door in the house as hard as I can
  • Go in their room and gently wake them up with a megaphone
  • Yell and scream that my husband is touching my stuff and wont share
  • 3 words...pots and pans
I could literally go on and on, if you have any ideas feel free to share!

I know one day I am going to miss their sweet little faces waking me up in such horrible ways, but as you can tell today is not one of those days.  RIP weekends you will forever be missed


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