Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Gamers Paradise

Last night at midnight Grand Theft Auto 5 finally came out.  Yes I'm 28, yes I have kids, and yes I have a guilty pleasure in the form of GTA games.  I would not classify myself as a "gamer" but if time allows I don't mind getting lost in a video game for a few hours.

I debated all day whether or not I was going to brave the line at midnight, but eventually decided why not, I'm always up that late anyway!  I decided to leave around 11:20 to, you know, "beat the crowd".  When I pulled up people were literally tailgating, others had been camping out for hours out front.  I felt like a huge loser, there I was at midnight, all alone, going to pick up a damn video game.  I tried to find a solid line to stand in but everyone was so scattered I figured I was missing something.  I asked a guy sitting in his chair at the front door if this was the line, he pointed to a few people behind him, not saying a word to me.  OK then, so I walked a little farther and saw the end of what I thought was the line.  I asked the guy sitting there "is this the end of the line?" He said "Kind of you need to get checked in first".  Great I just wasted 10 minutes trying to find a line only to find out I had to go inside first and check in.  I checked in and went back outside. 

I know a lot of people like to "people watch" at places like Walmart, but if you want to be entertained you just need to go to a midnight release of a video game.  I was pretty much the only girl there with the exception of about 2 or 3 others, one of which was standing next to me telling her boyfriend about getting so drunk last weekend that she had a full on conversation with herself to convince her she didn't need to throw up.  I didn't want to be that weirdo that just stands there pretending to do something on their phone while they listen to other peoples conversations but I totally was.  At least I WAS until the guy in the red shirt showed up.

The guy in the red shirt *sigh* he couldn't have been more of a stereotype if he tried.  He showed up with his laptop and parked his butt to my right side and started watching Breaking Bad.  About 10 minutes before midnight he put the computer down and just started talking, and talking, and talking.  Not only that but he was one of those people who is extremely loud in hopes that everyone will laugh at everything he is saying.  Here are a few of his quotes

"Cats are stupid, I mean I had a cat, and I loved him but he was a dumb asshole"
"My dog is so dumb, I'm not saying I would but, I could literally kick her 5 times in the stomach, leave for 5 minutes and when I came back she would be so excited to see me"
"People always say "You're such a dick, you must be from the East Coast" I say yes I am but I would rather be called a dick to my face than have people be nice to me to my face then talk shit behind my back.  That's the definition of CA everyone is fake" (ummm he does know everyone standing in that line LIVES in ca right??)
"I traded in my sports car for that Subaru station wagon right there, I would rather drive smart than fast"
 Those are just a few.  He also referenced a girlfriend about a dozen times that to be honest, I'm not even sure exists. And if I had to guess I would say that Subaru station wagon he was driving was his moms.

In addition to the very annoying attention seeking guy there were other things going on like, two guys who kept circling the parking lot blasting their subs hoping to look cool (is it still cool to "bump" music like that?), another guy who had a boat horn installed on his truck that scared the crap out of all of us as he drove by and had his buddy record our reactions, grown men talking about Pokemon and Skylanders and being excited about it, people fighting over trivia answers, and so on.  When people finally started walking out with the game the men were cheering, jumping up and down, screaming "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH", and a few were *I swear* on the brink of tears.

Like I said, it was quite entertaining and cant imagine how creepy I looked chuckling to myself every now and then at some of the conversations I was overhearing.  I was probably the weirdest one there to them, all alone laughing to myself. 

In the end I got my game, came home and went to bed, but it was totally worth it


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